31 days: coffee

I've been tired for about 3 years now.
I drink coffee. The coffee making each morning is the most important thing that happens in my kitchen.
I really don't know how any mother of small children does it without coffee. I know some people don't like it, but in my book that's like being allergic to Tylenol.
Most days I get out of bed feeling like I haven't slept. Silas is usually a good sleeper, but when you are still nursing during the night and you haven't had a good night's sleep in years even a good sleeper leaves you tired every morning.

Yesterday both boys desperately needed a nap. Jude was exhausted and fussing and I couldn't get him to lay still long enough to fall asleep. He wasn't feeling well and I knew that if I could just lay down with him for a few minutes he would be out. But, Silas was sleeping in my arms. He's been teething or having a vaccine reaction or something and I knew if I put him down he would immediately wake up and miss out on yet another needed nap. So I got Jude to lay down with me and Silas and gave him something to watch on the Kindle. That usually works, but he just wouldn't lay still. So he cried and cried and I cried. And eventually Silas woke up. I sat him in his Bumbo seat and left him in the living room where he cried while I laid down with Jude who finally fell asleep.

I didn't cook anything yesterday. Elizabeth is on vacation this week and next so my work load is significantly increased. At the end of the day Carson made our last box of macaroni and cheese and we called it dinner.

Then Silas was awake most of the night. And the power was out all night. I'm hoping that there comes a day when the kids are older or we live on the same continent with the grandparents and we get to catch up. At this point it would probably take years, so I guess I'll just keep drinking coffee.

Of course these sweet guys are worth being tired for, and I have them to thank for my love of coffee!